Broseph

I'm Sorry, B:

But I knew that you were hooking up with your buddy after I went to bed.

--F

Mother

I'm Sorry, K:

But the way you hummed Danzig that one night on the way to the China House was what prompted me to finally break up with you.

--E

Roomies

I'm Sorry, J:

But I knew that I would end up hooking up with my new roommate (and now husband) after we broke up.

--B

Dogged

I'm Sorry, K:

I bought you that puppy for Christmas because I planned to break up with you and knew you would be lonely.

--B

Physical

I'm Sorry, D:

But I could not make myself physically attracted to you.

--D